Joking Jesus schizophrenic son of Joe the Joiner! Not again!! 
S'truth give the human race a break! 
Every time I run this sort of banner, and I have run it under
different names, different subjects, and from a number of servers over
many months ( at least twice a week ) and at least 3000 times, I still
get hundreds downloading this putrid festering stuff. 
Some of them actually try to join, they must either be dick heads,
followers of the Prophetess Miss Marbpotty, Zargon 1st Lord of the
Lupins, or just straight forward plonkers. Why don't you get a life.
You only have this life. This is it. There is no second chance at it.
Whatever they tell you, this is not a dry run for the big one. You
don't get graded ...there is no list of improvements for you to
implement next time round. There is no next time round, this buster,
is it. Make the most of it. Its all you'v got so don't fuck it up. Get
a girl, a boy, a transvestite friend, if all that fails meet
Dr.Kavorkin!.....BUT what ever you do. DO NOT BREED!... REPEAT, DO NOT
BREED! WE HAVE PROBLEMS ENOUGH TO CONTEND WITH. I ask this for the
sake of both evolution in general and the human race in particular.

Why in the name of god do you want to persecute the humans? I appeal
here to your Vogonity, leave us alone we have enough to contend with.
Whatwith Bill Gates, Andy you know who, New Labour, Tony Ballonie and
his totties, Jack Straw,....... I am amazed that evolution has managed
to get us so far.

Here is a recipe from the Congress of the USofA to be going on with.

HOW TO PRESERVE.  MRS. M. UHLER.

To each pailful of water add two pints of fresh slaked lime and one
pint of common salt; mix well.  Fill your barrel half full with this
fluid, put your eggs down in it any time after June, and they will
keep two years if desired.

Regards,

Caruthers Carstairs-McKraken